- Home
- Search Engine Optimization
- Opening Sentences That Close the Sale
Opening Sentences That Close the Sale
- By Karon Thackston
- Published 01/16/2007
- Search Engine Optimization
Opening Sentences That Close the Sale
Take your cue from Reader's Digest. They crank out - issue after issue - exceptional opening lines for their articles that engage then hook readers. What happens next? The reader is pulled into the story full force. Here are some examples.
It was a horrific display of irreverence.
By the way she dressed, you would have never guessed she was only 14.
As he reached into the box, something inside it moved.
See? Those sentences boost your curiosity. They make you wonder what happens next. They cause you to visualize a scene that might be taking place. You can do the same thing from a marketing perspective when you write your copy.
For instance, rather than starting the copy for an email to Australian hotels like this:
You may be aware of www._______.com – we are an Australian-owned and managed online hotel booking service.
Really capture their attention with an opening sentence that is specific to them like this:
Now you have the opportunity to affordably position your hotel in front of approximately 6,000 travellers every day that are looking for accommodations exclusively in Australia.
For an Australian hotel that depends on the Internet to generate reservations, that sentence gives them many reasons to keep reading.
Here are some other before-and-after examples of opening sentences.
==============
BEFORE: Hello and welcome to our website. If you are looking for [enter product name here], you are at the right site. (In this case, the example is from a wedding photographer's site.)
AFTER: We don't take pictures. We capture precious memories that you can enjoy for a lifetime.
==============
BEFORE: Our site has been online since 2000, and this marks our 6th year online providing designer-inspired sunglasses.
AFTER: How do you get the latest designer-inspired looks without paying outrageous prices?
==============
BEFORE: Our cruise website offers unbeatable rates and a diverse array of travel services guaranteed to satisfy even the most discriminating vacationer.
AFTER: Just imagine yourself on the white sand beaches of Honolulu, hiking through the balmy rainforests of Belize or whisking down a powdery, snow-covered mountain in Aspen… all at up to 50% off!
==============
BEFORE: Thank you for shopping for your corporate gifts at _________.com. We hope your shopping experience is delightful.
AFTER: When you truly impress your clients with distinctive corporate gifts, they remember you longer, feel a closer relationship and are more likely to reward you with increased sales.
==============
See the difference? The "before" sentences are dull, average and unflattering. The "after" sentences are intriguing, imaginative and enticing.
Don't stop after you create inviting headlines. Keep the momentum going by writing intriguing opening sentences, too. When you do, you'll help convert more site visitors into paying customers.
Spread The Word
Karon Thackston
Karon Thackston is President of Marketing Words, Inc. a full-service copywriting agency specializing in search engine copywriting. Karon is author and publisher of the popular Step-by-Step Copywriting Course, an e-course designed to teach sound and highly-effective SEO copywriting techniques. With over 20 years of copywriting experience, Karon has contributed to the search engine and sales success of companies large and small including Gortons Seafood and more.
View all articles by Karon Thackston

